THE POWER OF LISTENING

“I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!” – Psalm 116:1-2.

There is a vast amount of talking and broadcasting in our world, how much real listening is taking place? The ability to listen to those around you is critical – and listening goes far beyond hearing. Listening is a skill that has to be learned and honed and often serves as the foundation for positive human relationships.

Culturally, the way Americans engage in conversation is akin to an exchange of verbal volleys in a tennis match. If it slows, someone rushes in to fill the silence. If a thought or a comparable experience pops into someone’s head, they feel compelled to share it. It takes practice to break these reflexive habits. Instead of a tennis match, try thinking of your next conversation as an interview. You are a detective trying to get to the bottom of the mystery that sits in front of you.

Do we fidget or get restless and impatient when others are talking? These are obvious signs that we really don’t enjoy what the other person is saying. It suggests we are too rushed or distracted to really engage or if we interrupt or start finishing their sentences, we aren’t listening. As James said in James 1:19 to be “…quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

Jesus is the ultimate model when it comes to listening. He engaged people throughout Scripture by paying attention and digging a little deeper to find out what was going on beyond their words. He also listened to what was not said. For He was adept at drawing others out, communicating sympathy. He never merely listened to words, but He listened for attitudes and he listened for the whole range of emotions. Jesus listened in a way that communicated compassion and care, taking the time to understand others.

Luke 8: 18 says, “So pay attention to how you hear. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what they think they understand will be taken away from them” Listening is not a passive skill. It is not merely being quiet and letting the other person speak. The wise listener is patient, energetic, and focused. They listen to the other person finish without interrupting. They work hard to understand the other person.

Part of living out our faith in a positive way is to create, build, and sustain meaningful connections with others. In so doing we reflect the image of God and, hopefully, pass some of His love on to the world around us. A huge part of establishing connections is done through listening. Listening well is more than being quiet and more than being curious. It’s the process of discovering another person’s interests, likes, and positions on spiritual matters. It’s common to hear Christians say, “Speak the truth with love,” but what about listening? When I stop what I’m doing and listen, it tells the other person that they are important to me.

Discussion Questions:

1. What makes you feel heard when speaking with others? Do you do these things when listening to others?
2. Are you prone to giving more truth when you speak, or more kindness? Why do you think this is? How might you incorporate more balance of truth and love into your conversations?
3. How would your conversations look differently if Jesus were physically sitting next to you? Would you take more time with your words? Show more compassion? Have more patience?