Midlife Blues

“So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” –  1 Peter 1:6-7

Can I be middle-aged already? Really? Middle age” has been described as that period of life that you never want to enter and you never want to leave. Midlife brings new insecurities and awakenings to long-dormant regrets. Many of us face empty nests and the prospect of, in effect, starting over with spouses. Many of us face the reality of aging parents and any fears or worries or responsibilities that come with that. And of course, we daily face the reality of lost youth, waning strength, and more difficult processes for maintaining health. Time moves a lot faster the older you get. Doesn’t sound all that good, does it?

Joshua 13:1 (KJV) addressed this subject: “Now Joshua was old and stricken in years; and the LORD said unto him, Thou art old and stricken in years, and there remaineth yet very much land to be possessed.” The “old and stricken” is not very reassuring, but it does remind us there is a lot left to do regardless of our age. Psalm 92: 14 confirms this: “Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green.” In midlife, as in every stage of life, there are things we wish we had done. Fortunately, Christ doesn’t change our past, He redeems it. He is faithful to do that. He does not judge us by our actions but by His own, freely given to us in love.

In midlife, Christ is a companion through all the worries and stresses. As we get more serious about our health each decade we don’t have the strength and energy we did at 25. But Jesus is as strong as He’s ever been, and wherever we have to go or do, He will go with us. He will never leave me or forsake me.

In midlife, we have the opportunity to transfer some of our hard-earned wisdom to those coming along behind us. There are younger people seeking their way in life that we can mentor or minister to. They will benefit from people who can share their life experiences.

If you’re reaching middle age, work to continue strengthening your relationship with Jesus. He’ll be always there, waiting for you. Imagine yourself in those days of thinning hair, stubborn paunch, creaky bones, and joints, callouses of hand, and scars of heart, walking closely with the Lord.  It will make middle age something to savor.

Discussion Questions:

  1. What are your fears about old age? You can get wiser as you get older. What mistakes do you recall making in your younger days? What did God teach you? What would you do differently now?

Are You Content This Thankgiving

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-8.

Paul is certainly on the Mt Rushmore of the greatest Christians. But we can’t forget Paul was a regular human being, with access to the same not-so-super-secret Christian tools (the Holy Spirit, prayer, the Bible) as you and me. Through the soaring highs and devastating lows of his life, God taught Paul to keep his eyes on the prize: the salvation of Jesus Christ.  Nothing else mattered.

Contentment is confidence in God’s providence and learning to be satisfied with relatively little, and equally important, it’s a sense of independence from circumstances.  Contentment and a spirit of thanksgiving have less to do with getting what we want, and more to do with wanting what we already have. The promise is not that God will make you wealthy, but that He will give you strength.

So where does that leave us? Frustrated? Often disappointed? Worried? Lacking joy? But, if you can look past all that you can have, you can be content. The forgiveness God provides for our failures and transgressions gives us a deep and lasting peace, contentment, and happiness. Resting in the security of Jesus allows us to turn our focus away from how much we can accumulate for ourselves and toward how much we can serve Him and further His kingdom.

Paul tells us as much in Philippians 4:11-13: “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Thanksgiving is a season of being content. Thanksgiving reminds us of all the things to be grateful for. One reason that we fail to thank God now for what we have is that we want more – we want the next step. We fool ourselves into thinking that when we get more or when we get to the next step then we will stop to thank Him. But that suggests we should not be grateful for what God is doing in our lives as part of His plan for each of us. And that means being thankful even when we are facing setbacks.

We should be thankful because God is worthy of our thanksgiving. It is only right to credit Him because “Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father…” (James 1:17). Expressing thankfulness helps us remember that God is in control. Thankfulness, then, is not only appropriate; it is actually healthy and beneficial to us. It reminds us of the bigger picture, that we belong to God, and that we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing. “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ” (Ephesians 1:3).

All of us have a lot to be thankful for this time of year. But not only should we give thanks during the holidays, but we should also give thanks to God every day of the year.

This Thanksgiving, leave your worries about tomorrow with the Lord and you will accept every situation as God’s wise classroom for your growth and development. And when this happens, you will find that in good times or bad, pleasant or painful . .. . you will be content.

Discussion Questions:
1. What is the difference between joy and contentment?

2. What is the secret of being content in every circumstance?

You Asked For It: How Should I Deal With An Uncertain Future?

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand” – John 10:27-29.

The question this week in the You Asked For It series was “How To Keep From Stressing Out.” It would have been just as easy to ask “How to keep from stressing out due to an uncertain future. We are living in a time when it is hard to predict what will happen today let alone in the weeks and months ahead. You thought you knew where your life was heading. Things seemed to be falling into place and then bang, doors which you thought were open suddenly slammed in your face. You step back, a little bewildered. You wonder if that really just happened. And even more importantly, you wonder what do I do now? Where should I go?

Life moves at a much faster clip than it did a hundred years ago. So amidst that frenetic pace, we as Christ-followers try to live in such a way that we experience God’s peace, joy and love. Our principal goal is to try and bring some clarity to the future. Or in other words, find a way to bring the future into focus. We want to plan the future as a means of hopefully controlling or at least minimizing the uncertainty.

We don’t need clarity. We need trust in God. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,I will be exalted in the earth!”

Outside of money, I think the most difficult thing to trust God with is our future. But that is exactly what we should do because our future isn’t really our future. But the truth is, I think most of us know we can trust God but we have a really hard time doing it. Especially when we are stressed and the future looks bleak. But let me give you a possible reason. Some of us have a hard time trusting God because we don’t know Him well. Most of us would probably be a little offended because we believe we do know Him well. I spend time with Him, I read His word, I pray, I attend church and Northstar Groups.

But sometimes when life is uncertain, I know I can trust God, but I still have a hard time doing it. So it begs the question: do I truly know God, that I have full confidence in who He is and what He will do in my life. Because only when you fully understand His great love for you, His unending grace, His faithfulness to you, and His plans for you that you will be able to trust Him no matter what comes your way. To trust Him for where that road will take you.

To let Him lead me one step at a time knowing that even if I have no clue what I’m doing or where I’m going, He does. And He will make sure that I reach the end safely. Taking that step forward into the unknown requires that I know Him more. That I trust the One who guides our every step.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” (Matthew 6:34 MSG)

Discussion Questions:

  1. Worrying about our future, our health, our kids, whether or not we are measuring up at work, school, family life…the list goes on and on. What would you say is your biggest worry?
  2. Have you ever felt like the future was hopeless? What was your stress level?
  3. Read 1 Kings 19:3-11: Verse 4 gives us a dark picture of how Elijah was processing the events he had just gone through. What was Elijah focusing on? What do you focus on when looking at the future?
  4. In verse 10, Elijah has a pretty bleak vision for his future. Have you had a bleak view of your future? What can we do to change our view of the future?
  5. Do you struggle with any “what if” questions? How can you push past them to experience God’s peace in your life? Rather than worrying and struggling through something uncertain, what can you thank God for today?
  6. Pray and ask God to help you trust Him for the future?

You Asked For It – How To Keep From Stressing Out?

“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?. – Psalm 118:5-6

Today it seems like everyone is stressed. Yes, it’s true that we’re built for and we have learned to withstand a certain amount of stress. Stress can make us tougher and better problem solvers when we learn to deal with it. But a little stress goes a long way. There’s only so much we can take.

Have you ever been at a store and taken out a bottle of soda only to drop it and watch it roll on the floor. It has obviously been shaken up. The contents are now under a lot of pressure. Your first and maybe final inclination is to put the soda back in the cooler and take a new one. But you know if someone buys that soda in the next hour they are going to get a big surprise. So you grab another bottle, careful not to mix the two up. You will drink the shaken one later when the pressure dissipates. You wait because there’s no safe way to open the can after it’s been shaken up. It is the same way with stress in our lives.

You and I were also designed to bear a certain amount of physical, mental and emotional strain. When we take on more than we can handle, we eventually get shaken. Stress and worry are a normal part of life. So the question is how should we deal with it? Many people internalize the stress and end up suffering consequences. The good news for Christians is that God gives us a strategy to deal with pressure in a healthy and non-consequential fashion.

“…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7.

Of course, it is not that easy. There is some irony at play here. As I was preparing to teach on stress, I found myself, well stressed. I mentioned the reasons on Sunday: Having 7 mortgage payments taken out on the same date and the flooding of my house. Other times I have been stressed over other things, some important and some not so important. But then it dawned on me that worrying never solved anything. And I remember that God is with me. “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” – ”Deuteronomy 31:6.

So don’t worry. Replace worry with prayer. Let God know your concerns. A sense of God will settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. The ultimate question at stake here is this: “do I really believe God is good and He knows what He’s doing?” You see, much of the pressure we let build up in our lives is a result of not believing that God is in control and has our best interests in life. That’s why prayer and thankfulness to God shifts our perspective off the circumstances and onto the One who can do all things and works all things together for our good. God promises to provide us with the strength needed for daily life in a stressful world.

Discussion Questions:

  1. Read Proverbs 12:25 and John 14:1. How would you rate your current stress level? What is your primary source of stress and how does it affect your life?
  2. Read Philippians 4:6-7. How do you typically manage stress? In this verse, Paul tells us to pray and present our requests to God. Is this normally your first response? What are some ways you can incorporate prayer into dealing with stress and anxiety?
  3. Read Matthew 6:23-34. Most Americans worry about time and money. Do these two top your list? What others are in your top five? How does trusting in God’s provision decrease stress?
  4. How can you gain strength in times of stress or difficulties? Is this something that you practice?