WEEK 3 SERMON DISCUSSION QUESTIONS FOR GROUPS

Reset –  Making the hard changes

Introduction:

A life reset requires change. Identifying the areas in our lives that need to change is one thing, but actually changing them is another, especially the areas that are resistant to change. This week, we will look at the areas of our lives that seem to resist all efforts of change and what God says it takes to change them.

Bottom Line: Lasting change requires learning and facing the truth.

Something To Talk About:

Breaking bad habits is an important outcome of making the right choices because your destiny is not floating around out there; it is the sum of all the choices you make. Therefore, if you get into the habit of making the right choices time and again, you will certainly move towards your destiny. But why are some things so hard to change? Why do we hold on to self-defeating habits?

1. Because we’ve had them for so long: You didn’t get the way you are overnight. It often takes years to mess up aspects of your life. Many of your patterns were established way, way back in childhood, and those patterns helped you cope with trauma and stress in your early years when you didn’t know how to fight back. Some of your self-defeating patterns were survival tactics as a little kid. Today, you may realize those don’t work. They were self-defeating. Those habits and patterns only make things worse. But you still have them in your life. Why? Because they’re familiar. They’re like old friends; you know they’re not good for you and don’t work. You know those habits and patterns cause problems and conflict, but you’re used to them, okay? Some things are hard to change because you’ve had those problems for a long time.
2. Because I can identify with them: Some things are hard to change in my life because I identify with them. We often confuse our identity with our defects all the time. We’ll say like, “I am a control freak,” or  “I’m too timid,” or “I’m too passive.” But those things, those defects, they are not your true identity. When you see yourself in certain ways, you set up a self-fulfilling prophecy. You say I’m always nervous on planes. Well, guess what’s going to happen? You’re going to be nervous on planes. So some things are hard to change because we’ve had them a long time. They’re old habits. Some things are hard to change because we identify with them even when we know they’re self-defeating.
3. Because my patterns have a payoff: Anytime you do something over and over and over and over in your life, whether it’s good or bad, helpful or unhelpful, healthy or unhealthy, there’s a payoff behind it, some way: an emotional payoff, a relational payoff. You get rewarded for that defect. You get rewarded for that bad habit in some way. And, listen, whatever gets rewarded gets repeated. Maybe it’s giving me an excuse to fail. Maybe … There are lots of reasons you can repeat negative self-defeating behavior. Maybe I’m compensating for some unresolved guilt, so I’m punishing myself by doing something I know that’s not good for me. Maybe I’m compensating for shame, or pain, or fear, or panic, or maybe I’ve found it useful to control other people. There are lots of reasons that we often don’t know why we do what we do. But it will be easier to change when you figure out why you do what you do. 

Discussion Questions:

1. Why is change so difficult sometimes?
2. What two or three things would you magically change if you could wave a wand and make this year different from last year?
3. In what ways are you changing and growing for the better?
4. Why is it important to thank God in advance for how He is changing you, even when you’re not aware of it?
5. What change do you want to see God make in your life or in the life of someone you love? Have you asked Him for it?
6. Think about your past attempts to change. Have you made resolutions or sweeping promises to change? How well did it work?
7. What’s one new habit you want to start? What’s one old habit you want to stop? Which is more difficult for you: making or breaking a habit? Why do you think that is?
8. What’s a positive habit you do occasionally that you’d like to do consistently?
9. How do we practice replacing unhealthy habits with good habits? 
10. What habits can you install to follow the teachings of Jesus? How would your life change if you fully accepted your dependence upon Jesus? What would a “fully accepting” faith look like?
11. What is the biggest takeaway from this week’s message?
    

Take one thing home with you:

How would you react to this question: If God would come down in some miraculous way and give you clear directions when you’re facing a tough decision—writing on your walls as he did in Old Testament times or sending you a text as He might do today—would you unquestionably and immediately be willing to do what He told you? Have you finally come to understand that God’s ways are better than yours—that His thoughts are above your thoughts—that He has good plans for you and His directions are the best for you?

Let me assure you that God never plays hide and seek with those seeking His guidance. He’s not trying to make it difficult for you to know what to do in puzzling and tough situations. He wants you to know His will more than you want to know it. So, search your heart and make sure you truly want heavenly guidance. That’s the starting place.