LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR IS EASIER THAN LOVING YOUR FAMILY by Northstar Nate

“….And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Luke 10:26.

Jesus says, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” and I’d like to report that I am excellent at this. I love my neighbors. I wave. I smile. I hold doors. I even let people merge in traffic without dramatic sighing—most days. Frankly, if loving neighbors were the whole assignment, I’d be signing copies of How I Nailed This Christianity Thing.”

Then Jesus quietly adds family to the equation, and it feels like a spiritual plot twist.

Loving my neighbor is easy because my neighbor doesn’t live in my house. My neighbor doesn’t comment on my choices—what I eat, wear, watch, or say—like a personal critic with no fees. My neighbor doesn’t give unsolicited advice about everything, especially the things you were already fine with. My neighbor doesn’t start important conversations with “We need to talk” and then immediately say, “Not now,” leaving you spiritually and emotionally suspended. My family, on the other hand, has a spiritual gift for it.

The Bible tells us, “Love is patient and kind…” (1 Corinthians 13:4). I read that verse and think, Yes, absolutely. Then five minutes later, someone in my family does something mildly annoying, and suddenly I’m negotiating with God about the definition of “patient.”

Neighbors get my best self. Family gets my real self. Neighbors see the polished, church-ready version of Nate. Family sees the unfiltered director’s cut. With neighbors, I can be gracious because there’s space. With family, there’s no space—just closeness, repetition, and lots of opportunities to practice forgiveness.

Jesus said, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” (Mark 6:4). Translation: the people who know you best are often the least impressed. Those closest to you have seen your mistakes, your quirks, and your worst moments. Loving and serving them challenges patience, humility, and grace in ways strangers never can.

Jesus tells us to forgive “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22), which sounds poetic until you realize He means the same people, the same habits, the same conversations. Family forgiveness isn’t dramatic—it’s repetitive. It’s forgiving someone for the thing they do every day that makes you want to sigh deeply and stare into the middle distance.

But this is where love gets real. This is where Jesus meets me—not in the big moments, but in the small, irritating ones. Family is God’s discipleship gym. Neighbors get the highlight reel; family gets the daily workout.

So I’m asking God to help me love the people closest to me with the same patience I give strangers, the same grace I show acquaintances, and the same mercy He shows me. Because if I can learn to love here—right in the middle of ordinary, annoying, beautiful family life—then maybe I’m finally starting to understand what Jesus meant by love at all.

Discussion Questions:

1. Why do you think it’s often easier to show patience and grace to strangers than to the people we live with, and what does that reveal about our hearts?
2. What is one specific habit or reaction at home where God might be inviting you to practice a deeper, more Christ-like love this week?