LISTENING IN LOVE | Northstar Church

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” – Matthew 6:34 (MSG).

Have you ever been telling a story, recalling events, expressing an opinion, or asking for advice when you notice that the person across from you is not paying attention? Maybe they are watching somebody walk by or glancing at their phone in response to a text alert. Or perhaps they have that glazed-over look accompanied by that pretending-to-listen head nod.

We’ve all been there. While it may seem that ‘just listening’ is a passive act, good listening is an active act of love. Loving others involves taking the time to offer a listening ear to other Christians in our community. Pausing to hear the concerns of a fellow believer, even if you don’t see eye-to-eye on an issue, shows them that they are loved, seen, heard, and a valuable part of God’s family.

It is an act of love because it requires us to focus on another person’s inner world, not our own. In a church setting, listening to other believers is crucial for fostering a healthy and thriving community. It promotes mutual encouragement, understanding, and spiritual growth.

The Gospels depict Jesus as someone who consistently listened to others, both to God the Father and to the people around Him. He modeled active listening, demonstrating care and understanding for those He interacted with. Jesus frequently prayed and listened to His Father, particularly before important events or decisions. For example, in John 11:41-42, Jesus prays aloud before raising Lazarus from the dead, stating, “…Father, thank you for hearing me. You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” This highlights His constant connection and receptivity to God’s will.

Jesus actively engaged with people from all walks of life, demonstrating empathy and attentiveness to them. He stopped to heal the sick, engage with those who were marginalized, and answer the questions of those seeking the truth. His listening wasn’t passive; He asked questions, showed genuine interest, and responded with compassion. We should do the same.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German theologian who died in a Nazi prison. This passage from his book on Christian community, titled Life Together: “The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear. It is, therefore, His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.”

Listening well is also loving because sometimes it leads to getting involved in other people’s lives. “Oh wow, that must be hard. Is there anything I can do to help?” Being available in practical ways is yet one more way we can serve with the hands of Jesus.

Discussion Questions:

What distractions keep you from giving someone your full attention in a conversation? How can you minimize them?
Choosing to Listen: What does it mean to “choose to listen?” And how can you do that well?