HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SELF-CONTROL

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.”  – Proverbs 25:28.

The family is sitting around the dinner table enjoying a meal. It is not all that interesting, but everyone is engaged. Suddenly, Aunt Thelma decides to turn her political opinions into moral measuring sticks, and in a matter of a few seconds, people are irritated, heat rises, nerves fray, and the worst version of you begs to come out in a clear, concise rant. But you look around and decide that you will never argue someone into a change of opinion on any topic they are invested in, at least not in the moment or a forum like a family dinner, so you say nothing.

That, in a nutshell, is the concept of self-control. In the Bible, self-control, also known as temperance or self-discipline, is a fundamental virtue, a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and essential for living a godly life. It involves restraint and moderation in thoughts, words, actions, and desires.

But it’s hard to display self-control when it feels like someone else does things out of our control and triggers our basic instincts. When someone else’s actions or statements threaten us, we have a choice. It may feel like we don’t have a choice, but we do. When we react by yelling or flying off the handle, or silencing them with a snappy comment back, it can be seen as a failure to live according to God’s will and can reflect a lack of faith and trust in His guidance.

Isaiah 55:10-11 is a good reminder of how we can tap into God’s power no matter our situation: “The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.”

Did you catch that? The answer to keeping God’s power with me and working in me to produce self-control is letting His Word get inside me. His Word seeping into my mind and my heart will accomplish the things that help me display self-control. So when facing a situation where someone is getting on your last good nerve, remember God’s word. 1 Peter 5:6-8 says, “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.”

In the moment, choose to have self-control. When somebody is treading on your last nerve, realize that you have an enemy, but it is not the person irritating you.  The devil is prowling and roaring and looking to make us lose self-control. We fight that happening by staying humble and quietly letting God have His way in us right now. And when we do this, God will lift us and our frayed nerves up from this situation and fill us with a much better reaction than what we can give Aunt Thelma in the moment.

Discussion Questions:

1. What are some ways we can show self-control by honoring God with our emotions?
2. How can we seek God’s help through prayer to develop self-control?
3. How can we cultivate self-control through accountability and surrounding ourselves with fellow believers?