DEALING WITH CRITICAL PEOPLE

“ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32.

Most people are complimentary of Jesus even if they are not believers. They may not believe Jesus was the Messiah or the Son of God, but they believe He was an important person in history, a great teacher, and a prophet. But that is nothing new. Even when Jesus walked on the earth doing miraculous things, there were people who were critical and, in some cases, openly hostile to Him. Chief among these people are the scribes and pharisees.

In Mark 2, Jesus has forgiven the sins and healed a paralyzed man. The Pharisees react to this in anger, suggesting Jesus was blaspheming. “But some of the teachers of religious law who were sitting there thought to themselves,“What is he saying? This is blasphemy! Only God can forgive sins” (Mark 2:6-7). Verse 8 tells us Jesus knew what they were thinking, so He says, “Why do you question this in your hearts? Is it easier to say to the paralyzed man ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or ‘Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk’?

Jesus’ response is terrific. Is it more difficult to heal a paralyzed man or say, “Your sins have been forgiven you?” Then Jesus performed the more difficult task from a critic’s perspective – He healed the man. The message to the religious leaders was that Jesus had divine authority. He had authority that they did not have. They could not forgive sin, but Jesus could. The same is true today. Only God can forgive our sins.

Most people shy away from criticism. We naturally want to avoid tough conversations where our actions, motives, or ministries are put under another person’s microscope. At the same time, many people don’t like to share critique or criticism with others because they don’t want to come across as judgmental or risk hurting someone’s feelings.

How do you respond to criticism? Well, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you respond carefully. There is a difference between destructive and constructive criticism. As much as we dislike criticism, do we improve because of constructive criticism? Constructive criticism is an incredible asset. Proverbs 27:6 (NIV) says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted….” Are we better people because people pointed out some things that made us better parents, students,  and leaders? We may miss growth opportunities if we don’t listen to constructive criticism. If we sit back and think about it, we can probably come up with examples where constructive criticism made a difference in our lives.

If you want to find something to be critical about, you can find it anywhere and everywhere. But if you want to look for good, if you want to see God working, if you want people growing, you can see it, and you become what you focus on.

When God allows my life to collide with a difficult person’s, it is an opportunity to act more like Jesus. In other words, difficult people are not meant to bring out the worst in us; they are meant to bring out the Jesus in us. It is an opportunity to display grace.

Discussion Questions:

1. What are some of the reasons we reject criticism?
2. How do we tell the difference between constructive and destructive criticism?
3. Is there truth in this criticism from which we can learn?