“Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.” – Isaiah 6:8.
When Jake Blues gets out of prison, he and his brother Elwood decide to reform their band—The Blues Brothers Band—to raise money for an orphanage. As they travel the country searching for their bandmates, they tell people “We’re on a mission from God.” The duo is known for their reckless driving and they immediately attract the attention of the Chicago police and the chaos ensues. As married couples, we too are on a mission from God, but it probably does not involve wrecking 103 cars in high speed chases at night while wearing sunglasses.
Developing a mission starts with the basic question: Why did you get married? There are numerous reasons people get married. Maybe you got married because everybody else did. Or maybe it was a calculated decision based more on convenience, status, money, or other reasons. Whatever the reason, marriage is all about looking at our goals for the future. If we aim at nothing, we will hit the target every time.
Take the second law of thermodynamics; basically, the law states that left to themselves, things will decay. The same is true of relationships, especially marriages. If you don’t nurture and nourish your relationships, they will begin to wither. What starts out being comfortable can easily slide into complacency if we are not careful. We need a purpose, a vision and a mission to keep the marriage from withering over time.
Setting marriage goals can be revolutionary for our marriage. When you have a plan, you are able to work toward and achieve a common goal together for the future. Couples need that common vision, and when you have it, it’s so much easier to bring up issues, like your parenting philosophies or how you spend your time and resources, because you can ask if what you’re doing now fits in with the vision. That vision should include a spiritual component. What are you passionate about as a couple? Where can you use that passion to serve others?
I want to challenge you to think what would happen if the two of you stepped outside your comfort zone and led something together? A mission trip? A small group? A class on a subject that is close to your hearts? The possibilities are endless. If you do you will grow spiritually. If you are leading and teaching about forgiveness you will become better forgivers. If you are teaching about conflict you will have less conflict. When couples serve together they grow closer as a team and the relationship gets tighter.
When you have a common mission and vision, you’ve learned to weave together your personal, family, and marriage goals in a way that compliment each other.
- Do you have a mission, a vision for your marriage?
- How can defining that mission in marriage dramatically improve your chances of getting where you want it to go?