Parental Control

“It was by faith that Moses’ parents hid him for three months when he was born. They saw that God had given them an unusual child, and they were not afraid to disobey the king’s command.” Hebrews 11:23.

There comes a time in every child’s life when he or she crosses the threshold into adulthood. Once this line is crossed, the parent-child relationship is supposed to change in some basic ways. Your child is then on the road to becoming your peer and equal rather than a dependent minor. He or she will be graduating into a position of self-responsibility, in which they become accountable to a higher authority – the authority of God Himself.

No matter how good the parent is, they cannot control the child’s future. The child’s personal decisions will have to be something more than a matter of simple “submission” to mom’s and dad’s orders. They will be on their own. And in that moment, our slipping sense of control will inevitably produce anxiety and a desire to find some way to maintain some level of control. That does not make you a control freak, it is more of a fear of surrender. There isn’t much more we as parents can do, but surrendering is not easy. As parents, we sometimes struggle with what surrender really means. Surrender does not mean that you stop loving or counseling your children when needed, it simply means surrendering them to their heavenly Father.

In Mark 14, Jesus knew that He would soon take on the sin of the world and bear the wrath and shame for the entire human race. Jesus prayed: “Abba, Father,” he cried out, “everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” (v. 36). In that prayer we see surrender. Surrender is acknowledging God’s power, submitting to His will, and trusting in His plan for each one of us. When we fret over losing control over our children’s lives, we should pray like Jesus: “Your will be done.”

We have a profound role to play in our kid’s lives and we can continue to pray for them and love them unconditionally, but it is God who is the originator and orchestrator of our kid’s lives. God can be trusted with the kids He has entrusted to us.

What comfort and peace it brings to remember God is always in control and ever present in our children’s lives, even when we can no longer be.

Discussion Questions:

1. How surrendered are you to God? Is it any different to surrender our kids to God?