“So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” – Romans 14:19 (ESV).
The Bible often times uses marriage as an illustration of our relationship with God. We are expected to be loyal to God in the same way a husband and wife should be loyal to each other. Our relationship with God comes first and should be actively pursued because it will not automatically happen. We have to work at it in the same way a married couple should work on their relationship. If we do not pursue God, our relationship with Him will suffer. In the same vein, if we do not pursue our spouse, that relationship will suffer as well.
A funny thing happened on the way to the marriage ceremony. After the I do’s, we stop the pursuing activities that naturally filled the dating stage of our relationship. In the dating stage, we want our potential spouse to know that we are interested in them, but once we caught them, the pursuit sometimes ends.
Pursuing your spouse tells him or her you are invested, you are interested, and that you care. Christ is my ultimate pursuit, but my spouse is number 2. A marriage should be marked by constant pursuit: of Christ first, and each other next. And the fact is, that pursuit may not be as time consuming or tiring as some people may think it is. Sometimes it is the little things that make all the difference whether it is through words, actions or through being an example.
Certainly a key one is affirmation. We all crave it, we all appreciate it, and we all thrive from it; especially the guys. Knowing this should motivate us to compliment our spouse and to let them know what they mean to us. But sometimes we forget to take the time for affirmation. We need to find the time to both affirm and encourage our spouse through our words.
I hope that if you take nothing else from The Vow series, you understand that our spouse is worth our love and devotion. We should be pursuing them just as much as they desire to pursue us. Being intentional in investing in our marriage selflessly in this way will cultivate a healthy relationship between you.
All of the little, seemingly miniscule and insignificant things we do make up a bigger picture. Making dinner, taking out the trash, taking the kids for a few hours, filing up the gas tank, buying flowers, those are all of the things that make up the lifeline of a marriage. If you want a thriving, healthy, fulfilling marriage, stop going through the motions, and start pursuing your spouse with purpose, passion, and love.
- What does pursuing your spouse mean to you? Why do you think it is so important to pursue our spouse?
- What can we do this week as a start to pursuing our spouse?