“ Starve your distractions, feed your focus.” – Unknown
We all have one thing in common: we all face distractions. Incoming texts, emails, calls, Facebook, Instagram, video games, or that series on Netflix we’ve been binge watching. Distractions have become omnipresent. So much so that many people work on their marriage with the leftover minutes we have after all the distractions.
When dating there is plenty of time together. And there is plenty of time in the early days of marriage as well. Our spouse is always there: at dinner, watching TV, reading the Bible, shopping, and taking walks together. As newlyweds, couples are typically addicted to each other. But then come the distractions and the amount of time spent together starts to erode. We start spending more and more time with the kids. We invest more and more hours in pursuing that next promotion. Hobbies take center stage.
We tell ourselves we will get back to where we were once we deal with whatever distraction we are facing. “I’ll deal with it when the kids go back to school” or “once I get the corner office I will have it made.” That is why distractions are so dangerous and subtle at the same time. They eat up time previously invested in our marriage. And once they are present, there is never a convenient time to deal with them. We never intend for it to go on for that long, but there are always more distractions, lots more reasons, lots more stress. Months of distractions can easily turn into years of regret.
One of the best ways to keep focused on God and each other is to spend time with Him individually and with each other. Plan for this time and make it a priority. Remember that Jesus did this in His busy life, and so must we. And also remember that Satan will do everything to keep you from it.
One thing is for sure. Things won’t change on their own. There’s never a convenient time to do what’s difficult. But there is no better time than now to deal with distractions and make your marriage better. Find some time to get away. Consider a time without the kids and other periodic short-term dates: a day trip, a weekend outing, or a long night out. But not just to have a dinner or movie alone. Make it a time of dialogue, of introspection. Ask the tough questions, assess our roles as husband and wife, father and mother, etc. And just enjoy each others company.
- When was the last time you and your spouse planned a time to really discuss and invest in your marriage?
- What things in your life distract you from God and each other?