HOW TO BE A GOOD DAD | Northstar Church

“Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?
I don’t remember growing older.
When did they?
When did she get to be a beauty?
When did he grow to be so tall?
Wasn’t it yesterday when they were small?
Sunrise, sunset; sunrise, sunset;
Swiftly fly the days.”- Sunrise Sunset, Fiddler on the Roof

There is no script or instruction manual for being a good father. Every father has learned that reality. When we are thrust into the task of fatherhood it automatically changes our view of our earthly father, our Heavenly Father, and even ourselves. It is an adventure that will challenge us, drain us, beat us up, lending us a few uplifting moments and any number of discouraging even painful moments.

That was the experience of many father characters in the Bible. One example is King David. While he was dubbed a man after God’s own heart, he appears in scripture to have many challenges as a father with children who hated and dismissed even tried to overthrow him. David was raised in a good home with a good father, the pressures, and drama of power, politics, combat, lust, and failure seem to limit his ability to invest successfully in the life of his children. Still, he was known as a man after God’s own heart. In Abraham, we see the image of the man who would become the father of incredible faith that would become the model man, leader, and husband (Genesis 18:19). In Noah, we see the adventurous father who in spite of challenges and obstacles plows through hardship and leads his family to safety and victory (Genesis 7:13-14). Each of these men gives us an understanding of what it looks like to be a good father or a father with shortcomings.

Just like there are no perfect fathers there are no perfect children. Fathers cannot expect their children to be perfect. They won’t meet all of our expectations. They won’t fulfill all of the goals we have for them nor will they likely be what we want them to be. It’s natural for a child to make mistakes, break things, struggle in some school classes, and get angry and act out.

As fathers, it’s our job to guide them through their challenges, not add to their challenges. Will we be parents who empathize with our children and eliminate the causes of frustration and anger from our lives? Will we raise our children for the Lord by talking to them from the Bible and teaching them about Jesus?

Jesus welcomed children with open arms (Matthew 19:14; Luke 18:16) and went against the grain of his culture to commend childlikeness (Matthew 18:2–4). As we take our cue as parents from God, our heavenly Father, we learn to parent God’s way by imitating our Father. Nothing is more important for godly parenting than knowing God. As we reflect on the one who is present, who affirms, and who delights, we will learn to fulfill and enjoy the awesome and humbling calling of parenting like our Father.

Discussion Questions:

When you think of the word “father” what words come to mind? How has your earthly father influenced your opinion of fathers?
Read Luke 15:11-32: How would you describe the father in this story?