Unforgettable Love Story: A Study of Love, Marriage and Romance    

Introduction:

Marriage is a combination of two uniquely individual people. A godly marriage does not happen by chance. To enrich and deepen the relationship takes a lot of hard work. Couples may stay together for the rest of their lives because of the commitment, but may never experience God’s design to be one unless they are totally committed to the marriage. Keep the chemistry with your spouse alive. Be committed to keeping your relationship fresh. Keeping your marriage strong, vibrant and fresh isn’t always easy. But if you put in the time and effort, you’ll discover how truly amazing your marriage can be if we simply feed the fires.    

Something To Talk About:

If marriage is nothing but sharing a house and sharing bills, it has little meaning, especially when the going gets tough—or the bills don’t get paid. Marriage is about more than just the challenges of today; it’s about carving out a future together, both for this life and the next. This approach can deepen your relationship that leads to growth and intimacy in marriage. But it takes action. Here are a few steps to help you feed the flames in your marriage. 

  1. Feed the fire with appreciation: Whether you are married for just a month or for decades, we can begin to take our spouse for granted. Gratitude can wear off. The same person whom, once upon a time, you would thank for little things, now feels unappreciated by you for all that they do for you everyday. We need to change that dynamic. And that does not mean just saying “thank you” all the time. Find creative ways to show your appreciation to your spouse. And learn to appreciate the time and thoughtfulness, not only the results. 
  2. Feed the fire with need: Married couples can become so preoccupied with the busyness of life that we neglect the needs of the spouse. The Five Love Languages Roy mentioned on Sunday has helped people to understand the needs of their spouse by discovering and speaking their spouse’s love language. Go beyond just the expected with your spouse. Go above and beyond to meet a need of your spouse this week and beyond.  Make your home a place of refuge and refreshment.
  3. Feed the fire with respect: Do you respect your spouse? We often focus on what we should be “getting” from our partner in terms of respect. But respect has a giving component as well. Eagerly seek to discover and meet each other’s needs. Ultimately, learning to respect is a choice: Begin each day by asking, “what can I do for you?” Respecting our partners enables us to build strong, lasting and deeper relationships.
  4. Feed the fire with intimacy:  This section is all about desiring your spouse physically. Together, the married couple can develop sexual intimacy as an important part of their marriage relationship, and lovingly honor each other in this way. 1 Corinthians 7:3 tells us, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”

Questions:

  1. Do we tend to view our relationship with our spouse as a formula (Raise kids + house + limit arguments + sex = good marriage)? Why or why not? 
  2. What makes a deepening marriage?  If we use the analogy of cooking, what ingredients are needed for a great marriage?
  3. Read Mark 12:30: Is pursuing God (above all else) the best thing we can do to deepen our relationship with our wives or husbands and/or future wives or husbands? Why or why not?
  4. How do you rate yourself in terms of taking action in your marriage? How is your love for your spouse being made clear in sacrifice and service?
  5. How can you do more to be more appreciative? Meet more needs? Be more respectful?
  6. What are some things in your life that “need to change or die” in order to deepen your marriage relationship?

Take One Thing Home with You

A priority is something of such importance that one makes time to manage and care for it. In order to thrive, your marriage must be your number one priority. And your spouse needs to see this every day. 

It’s not easy to keep marriage at the top of your priority list when there are so many other demands on your time: demanding jobs, demanding children, and other demanding responsibilities. Stop right now and make a mental list of all the ways you can let your spouse know he’s your number one priority. Be creative. Then start today to implement your ideas.

What’s so exciting about doing this is that as you begin to make your spouse a priority, you’ll be showing your love to him or her — and they’ll start communicating that love back to you. The old saying is true: The more you give, the more you get. And as the love between the two of you begins to flow stronger, you will begin to feel a spark of joy and passion that can reenergize your marriage, making it what you always hoped it would be. And maybe even deeper.