“For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.” – Ephesians 4:4-6.
“ So honey, are we ready to take that step we talked about the last few weeks?”
The wife’s face turned down and a scowl took the place of the smile in an instant. “Are you kidding me right now, because I never know when you are joking.”
“No, I am not kidding,…but you need to remember that I am cautious. OK, yes, I am in a permanent state of non-readiness. Decisions are hard. If I was a turkey you could put me in a 350-degree oven on July 4th, and I still wouldn’t be done in time for Christmas.”
The wife was speechless but then whispered a few words to herself: “I guess this whole ‘becoming one’ thing is going to take a little longer than I thought.”
Working toward oneness, making it a practice to think and act as one is an ongoing challenging process. It makes some people shudder and ask, “can I give up what I want for what I need. Will it stifle me? Will it hinder me? Will I be slowed down by this whole’oneness’ thing?”
If you cannot see what you gain by what you lose then the answer could be yes to some or all of those concerns. Admittedly, it is difficult. The two shall become one. No longer me and her, it’s we. There is no longer his life and mine. We now belong to each other. We don’t make independent decisions. We make all major decisions together and run most minor decisions by the other person. We value each other’s opinions and care deeply about their concerns. The goal is to be of one mind on most everything. It’s not about what I want or what he wants, but what we want and what we are thinking. Unity means communicating your togetherness.
“Honey, I was thinking about our conversation and I am ready to take the next step.”
The wife looked skeptical. “OK…so are you being serious now?”
“Yes. We have talked about this and I think God is calling us to foster kids, so I want to be in lockstep with Him and with you so let’s start the process and see where God takes us. Whatever happens, I am with you in the pursuit of this spiritual mission.”
The smile returned to the wife’s face: “maybe this oneness thing won’t take as long as I thought.”
It is not easy becoming one. No longer two. But one.
- Can we honestly say, “I love you as you are, without requiring anything to change?”
- Is there a way to prepare for becoming one when you get married? After you have been married for some time?