In the last post, I talked about how God doesn’t want you miserable here at Northstar church. God wants you happy at Northstar. Since God placed you here, I honestly believe that God wants you happy here.
And I discussed some of the reasons why people leave the church. In this article, I will cover a few more of those reasons.
Another reason for leaving a church is people are all up in your business. It is easy to misinterpret genuine Christian concern. When you have been at a church long enough, some people know your junk. I mean they know your family situation, your marriage situation, your financial situation and the list goes on. That is not a bad thing automatically, as people are praying for you and open to talking about issues with you. But some people may not want that accountability and it feels easier to go somewhere to start over where the other members think you have it all together. The problem is, real relationships are revealed. If you need to come across as having it all together, you are never going to have authentic relationships.
Another reason is there is a little bit of armchair quarterback in all of us. By that, I mean we think there is a better way of doing things. I can relate. I often wonder if there is a better way of doing things. Others feel the same way. They get offended because they think the music is too loud, the lighting is not the way they think it should be, the set up is not the way they would do it. It is easier to critique then to get actively involved. Some people feel that if they were in charge of a Northstar Group it would rock. Perhaps it would. We are always open to new ideas and suggestions. But remember, that if you choose to go to another church, most likely you will believe it could be done better there as well.
Still another reason is your expectations were not realized. At the risk of sounding defensive, it is very unlikely, if not impossible, to fulfill everyone’s expectation at Northstar. Maybe you thought you were going to be able to serve on the the worship team as a singer, but you tried out and didn’t make the worship team. You are devastated. I understand why you would feel that way. But there are many other areas you can serve God at Northstar, if your heart is just to be a servant.
I am sure there are other reasons I could have included, but please know this: It is God who plants us in a body of believers and only God should move us away. The only reason to ever leave a church is because God clearly spoke that to you. Could you imagine what would happen in your marriage if you moved around each time you got offended with your spouse? The divorce rate would be 100 percent, so this is not just a pattern in our churches but maybe a pattern in our lives. We need to learn to plant and stay planted, so we can flourish.
I hope you will think through these reasons and decide whether these are legitimate reasons to leave the church.
Finally, don’t leave Northstar until you have contributed in some way to try help make it better. Do not be the type who is the most critical, but has not contributed their gifts or time to the church. Have you prayed for the leaders? Have you made yourself available to serve or help in areas of ministry? Have you expressed helpful suggestions or brought your concerns to the leadership?
If there is something on your heart, I encourage you to meet with your campus pastors and talk about it.