“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.“ – Luke 6:38

Relationships can be compared to starting a career or entering college. It is relatively easy to begin, but it is almost guaranteed to be a challenge to stay with for the long-term and make it a success. There is a lot of thought on whether the ends justify the means and is the risk worth the reward. And probably most importantly, am I getting a return on my investment, or in other words, am I getting more out of this marriage/relationship than I am putting into it. 

People often view relationships, especially marriage as a 50/50 proposition where each partner should be willing to come half the way to compromise and make things work? While that makes sense on the surface, it is not what the Bible says is necessary to make a relationship work. Throughout the Bible we’re told to “go the extra mile,” “serve one another,” “die to self,” and “submit to one another” … We are to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” There is no 50/50 equation involved in any of those statements.

Plus the whole 50/50 thing takes too much monitoring and way too much measurement. It is impossible to determine if your spouse has met you halfway. Because neither of you can agree on where halfway is, each is left to scrutinize the other’s performance from a biased, often selfish perspective. How do you determine who faces the most pressure, or who had the worst day, or who needs encouragement more? A husband would give affection to his wife only when he felt she had earned it. A wife could be concerned about a husband’s weaknesses. The Biblical way is to give, serve and love the other person without keeping score and waiting for the other person to do something in order to get something in return. In other words, the 100/100 percent plan.

The 100/100 Plan goes like this: “I will do what I can to love you without demanding an equal amount in return.” If you concentrate on giving rather than receiving you will have a relationship that is ” pressed down, shaken together and running over.”  

Discussion Questions:

  1. What does the 50/50 rule mean to you? What if you went to 75/25, would that work?   
  2. Is the Biblical standard of giving without receiving practical?
  3. In the area of relationships, what do you stand to get when you give?
  4. What can we do this week to live the 100/100 percent plan?