Disappointment In Marriage

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:28-31. 

Seasons of disappointment will find us. Our marriages are particularly vulnerable because we become discouraged and disheartened when disappointment sets in.  We ask ourselves why relationship struggles are so disappointing. Why do the problems we have with other people affect us so powerfully? Why is relational disappointment one of the hardest disappointments for all of us to face? 

A broad answer to those questions might be that we enter our relationships with unrealistic expectations: Somehow, someway, we’re able to deceive ourselves into thinking that we’ll be able to avoid the difficulties that attend any relationship in this broken world. In the early days of a relationship we work to convince ourselves that we’re more righteous, and the other person more perfect than they and we actually are. This causes us to be shocked when an unexpected but inevitable difficulty gets in the way of the bliss that we had convinced ourselves we had found. 

Without being aware of it, our relationships are often about what we want out of our lives rather than what God wants for our lives. Often we’re disappointed with a relationship at the very moment when God is producing through this relationship exactly what He wanted to produce. Our problem is that our agenda doesn’t agree with God’s. When we believe that God is always up to something in our lives, we will see the value of looking at disappointment in a different way.

When we bring everything before the Lord Jesus—our gifts, our flaws, our hopes, our dreams, and even the tangled mess of our marriage, God can make something beautiful out of the worst mess.  Disappointment can take our breath away, but in due time and at the right time, God will restore and redirect us. Spend much time in the Word, and allow your disappointments to fuel your determination and empower you to possess all Got has for you.

Discussion Questions:

1. How self-serving are you in your relationships? Where can you be more self-sacrificing?
2. How can you make these relationships more about the Kingdom of God?