“… I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” – John 10:10.

“Marty, I enjoyed the message on dating, but I have a question. There is one thing missing from all you outlined on Sunday – fun. It seems like the date would involve keeping track of all the don’ts like –  don’t have sex until you are married; don’t be tempted, etc. So here’s an observation. Christianity can sound like a rule book, which when followed, would make dating pretty mundane regardless of what season I am in.”   

Many people have the perception that religion is nothing more than a bunch of old, stuffy people pushing their moral views on a younger, more enlightened generation. They view faith as a tradition, not something that will change your life. As a result, everything in the Christian world is viewed as boring.

Many people have told me that before they were saved, the idea of going to church put them to sleep. On a surface level, it seems that non-Christians are having more fun because they have so many more dating options because some of those options are sin to the Christian.

But that is the point: We have different priorities and standards. The things many people look at as fun may not be good or right if we are following Jesus. Some of those fun things can damage our relationship with Jesus. As a result, the so–called “fun” often ends up not being fun at all. If we as Christians didn’t understand the big picture reasons behind why we do what we do, many of us would have a different perspective on dating and relationships. We would be a lot more fun at least in the world’s eyes.

I don’t think Christians are boring. Nor do I think they have to undergo a fun and personality bypass when they become Christians. That is not what God intended at all.  The Christian life can be exciting if you are doing it right. Yes, there will be trials and downtimes, but that doesn’t mean that there will not be fun times, and that includes dating.  We all know Christians that have a whole lot of fun and that can include dating. It’s not like you have to just sit there and hum Gregorian chants when you are on a date. 

Christians have cheesy introduction lines just like everyone else: “Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives… He never met you!” Or “Is your name Faith? Cause you’re the substance of things I’ve hoped for.” Christians go to the movies, out to dinner, take classes together, etc. They laugh and cry, share stories and connect just like everybody else. There are just some rules of conduct that God set forth in His word that He expects us to obey. 

Dating can be confusing, exciting, difficult and really fun all at the same time. But it’s time to change the subculture of fear we as Christians have sometimes created around it. It’s time to stop worrying about dating and see it as an opportunity for connection and growth. It’s time to take the pressure off of “finding the one” and instead learn to glorify The One through every interaction that we have with those around us—dating included. And don’t forget the fun. 

Discussion Questions:

  1. If real life were like a romantic comedy or an action thriller, what percent of your life would be exciting?
  2. If your main goal in life were to have fun, what would you do with your time right now? What do you think God wants you do with your time right now? Why do you think He wants you to do that?
  3. Are you willing to be bored for God and others if that’s what you need to do to love them well?
  4. Is there anything you need to accept about life? What can you thank God for in this situation?