THE SECRETS OF A LASTING LOVE

“Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.” – Colossians 3:1-4.

Love is a word that means different things to different people, but seldom is it clearly defined. Love may mean anything or nothing. In our effort to define love, we sometimes try to prove our love by doing good works and helping one another.

The Bible reveals the very character and nature of a God whose love is overwhelming. It paints a picture of living a life that shows love for God, as well as for one another. Our goal is to mirror the same love that we witness from Him to our relatives, neighbors, and all those we meet.

Scripture is filled with stories of those who have modeled God’s love to others. Moses led the Israelites through the wilderness to the promised land, even after he had become so frustrated that he could not enter the land himself. The prophets of God delivered His word to people who continually ignored Him, and threatened the lives of His messengers. But they continued to faithfully reveal God to the people that He loved. Jesus Christ lived the commands and desires of His Father when He stepped into flesh and became like you and me. The apostles did not see the masses saved because they knew the teachings of Christ, but because they lived in them. They lived in the love that God gave them through Jesus.

To truly love, we must first know God. Love starts with God and ends with God because God is love. God’s love is consuming, it is passionate, and it is all-encompassing. It is the love that is missing in many marriages and relationships that end badly, and it is the glue that binds together all that thrive. 1 John 4: 7-8 says:  “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

All God does is out of love. He loves perfectly. Our goal is to love as God loves. Love isn’t something that is derived from within us. It is radical. For the kind of love that God calls us to – the love that loves our neighbor as much as we love ourselves –  must come from Him.  We are required to demonstrate genuine love regardless of how we feel about a situation or a person. This means putting others above ourselves, our perceived needs, and our wants. That includes people who are trying to control or influence us as well as the people who support us on a daily basis. It’s only after being loved by God that we can truly love others.

Our goal is to become living examples of God’s love. The way to reflect this transforming love is to share and reflect that love. We cannot manufacture or initiate love, but we can share God’s love with others. And that’s the nature of love that lasts forever.

Discussion Questions:

  1. How can we build a Christlike love that lasts a lifetime?
  2. What can we do this week to start building that love?

THE GOOD LIFE

“By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence.” – 1 Peter 1:3.

“Ah, the good life!” When you hear that phrase, you probably think of Beverly Hills, West Palm Beach, or 30A, where the rich and famous lounge around their swimming pools or cruise by in their Bentleys. But that is not always the dream life people imagine it to be. People in wealthy areas aren’t any happier on average. In fact, some of the most unhappy people in the world are those who live for the things money can buy.

So what is the good life and how do we live it? The Bible says that God created the world:  “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.” (Genesis 1:1). God, as the author of life, brings meaning to life. Everything God created was meant to show what God is like. Through His design, God created a world with a purpose. The life of every person is not just the product of chance, random events, or fate. God made a world without brokenness – without war, sickness, or death. And then sin entered the world. The Bible says that it was mankind that chose to not follow God’s ways but to go our own way. This is what the Bible calls sin. “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” (Romans 3:23).

When we look at the world around us, we see that we live in a world of brokenness. Depression, anxiety, fear, sickness, war, and more. These are real and everyone experiences those things at some point in their lives.  And when we come face-to-face with our own personal brokenness, we look for a way out.

God does not leave us in our brokenness. He enters into our brokenness. Jesus was born as a baby, grew up, and lived a perfect, sinless life. Then, He died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins. God raised Him from the dead. Life will have little meaning without knowing Jesus as the one who came to restore our relationship with God. Once God begins His work in us, we can appreciate all the good things that are in our lives: relationships, skills and talents, experiences, and material possessions.

A Christ-centered life begins with realizing that the source of everything we are is the Lord. He created us, He authors our story, and every blessing that we receive comes from Him. James 1:17 tells us that “Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens…” Additionally, Christ is the source of our daily righteousness. We simply cannot live up to biblical standards on our own; but in Christ, we have everything we need for godly living.

A Christ-centered life has one ultimate goal: that Jesus gets the glory. Because we want Christ to be known, honored, worshipped, and obeyed, we submit every other attainable goal to Him. Our decisions are no longer controlled by selfish desires, but instead, we will live for Christ. Now that’s a good life.

Discussion Questions

  1. What stands in the way of deepening your relationship with Jesus?  
  2. What can you do this week to begin to overcome those obstacles? 

WHERE OUR SECURITY COMES FROM

“See, God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.”With joy you will drink deeply from the fountain of salvation! In that wonderful day you will sing: “Thank the Lord Praise his name! Tell the nations what he has done. Let them know how mighty he is! Sing to the Lord, for he has done wonderful things. Make known his praise around the world. Let all the people of Jerusalem shout his praise with joy! For great is the Holy One of Israel who lives among you.” – Isaiah 12:2-6.

Have you ever looked up and noticed window washers at work on a skyscraper? Why do you suppose they can work so confidently suspended thousands of feet in the air? They are secure because they know that their safety harnesses are fastened to the building itself and their harnesses will hold even if the platform should fall.

Your life can be lived with confidence like that. When we give our lives to Jesus Christ, He becomes our safety and our security. Because of Him, we can risk living life to the fullest and be all that we were created to be. He keeps us secure, even though life is often insecure, even though we get disappointed, and even though the bottom falls out.

Everyone needs someone or something they can trust. It gives us security and peace of mind being able to depend on someone or having something that is always there for us. As a result, many depend on their careers, investments, spouse, family, or friends. These are entirely legitimate, but to place our dependence on them is like building a house without a foundation—what if one or more of these areas starts to crumble? When Jesus Christ comes into our lives, we have an entirely different foundation. Nothing can tear down Jesus, and in Him, we have someone who loves us with the greatest love there is, someone we can trust with all our hearts, and someone we can place our faith in completely.

Isaiah in chapter 12 reminds us that true security comes from God and nowhere else. The world around us can erupt in anger and fear, but we need not be afraid because we trust in the God who created the world. People around us might fail us, but the Lord is our stronghold and our sure defense. In this passage, the prophet Isaiah points us toward the future, showing us a picture of what it means to trust in God. As we walk through life, we are constantly able to point back to who God is, showing others all He has done so that they can join in with us.

Isaiah is telling Israelites and us that we are secure. It does not say we will be free from turmoil. Quite the opposite. Bad things still happen. Our security is not in a world in which bad things never happen. Our security is in a God that no matter what happens to us, He is the Rock on which we stand.

Discussion Questions:

  1. How often do you feel genuinely secure? Free from fear or anxiety? Why do you think that is?
  2. Do you believe God wants you to be secure? How do you feel about that?
  3. What are the signs in your life that you are lacking security?

ADOPTED CHILD OF GOD

“So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”—  Romans 8:15

Society admires those who choose to adopt children. Not only because of the sacrifices they make but because of the love they display. Adoption gives children the opportunity to gain a family as well as an improved quality of life. We rejoice when we see a warm, accepting relationship in families united not by blood but by love. The greatest thing, though, is the idea of changing the trajectory of a child’s life. A child becomes a part of a new family and is given all the rights that come with it.

The same is true for those who give their life to Christ. When a person accepts Jesus Christ as their Savior, they are then adopted into God’s family. Once we accept Christ, we are His children. We are adopted and can never be disowned, disinherited, locked out, or not supported. The New Testament uses the word adopt in several cases. Galatians 4:5 says, “God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as his very own children.” And Ephesians 1:5 adds, “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”

The process of adopting a child in the United States can be long, expensive, and painful. It also can be stressful as adoptive parents who long to parent an unknown child wait without guaranteeing their dream will be fulfilled. Adoption into God’s family is completely different. There’s no hidden red tape, no waiting for approval. God made our adoption process simple. Just as a father longs for a child to share his life and love with, God yearns to adopt us into His eternal family.  Galatians 4:6 says, “And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.” This is an amazing and mind-boggling assurance for every believer. We’re children of God.

For reasons that can be summarized only by love itself, God chose each one of us. He selected us to be His child and adopted us into His family. It just doesn’t get any better than being part of God’s family. No matter our social or ethnic background, education, or history, being a part of God’s family is a serious upgrade. No family has ever had so anything close to the benefits of being a part of God’s family. Fully participating in God’s family is truly a blessing from God. God’s love makes us children of God. Nothing else—no works, merit, or righteousness on our part—can do it.

If you are struggling today and wondering where you belong, you are part of God’s family, chosen by Him before the foundation of the earth.

Discussion Questions:

  1. What are the benefits of belonging to the family of God?
  2. How can you use your gifts and abilities to serve the Body of Christ and show the world what it means to belong to God’s family?

THE POWER OF THE PAUSE

“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.” – Mark Twain

Bible scholars believe the word “selah” in the Bible to have several meanings: one is “to measure or weigh in the balances.” and another is a “voluntary and intentional pause for reflection.” Pause to reflect before reacting is a powerful tool if we use it.

We are angry. Someone made a comment that cut us to the quick. Or someone pulled off a scab from an old wound. We decide that this action demands a response. How different would the outcome be if we paused to think and reflect before responding?  Most people would agree that it makes sense to pause and reflect, especially when you are angry. It only takes a few seconds, but it is difficult to pause because we have a knee-jerk reaction to defend ourselves.

Pausing the conversation or situation is better than acting in a way you will later regret. Taking a step back allows time to analyze your emotions and think before you react. It’s human nature to react before we think.

When one looks through the Bible for people who pause and reflect, Mary comes to mind. Throughout scripture, Mary isn’t described as just reacting or responding. Rather, she is often portrayed as ‘pondering’ and ‘reflecting.’ For example, after Jesus was born, the shepherds came to pay Him homage and told her what they had heard about this newborn king. I wonder how she must have felt after giving birth and then having everyone flock to see Jesus knowing how special this child would be. In scripture, Mary didn’t respond or react to the visitors. Instead, she reflected. “And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19 NIV) Luke 1:29 (NIV) says, “Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.” And Luke 2:51 (NIV) adds, “Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.”

Throughout her life, Mary took this approach of pausing and reflecting on what was going on around her. Instead of reacting to each new situation, she continually brought her concerns to God in prayer and let Him take the lead.

It is good advice to pause and reflect before reacting. When in doubt, pause. When angry, pause. When tired, pause. When tempted, pause. When stressed, pause. When seeking God’s will, pause. And whenever you pause, pray.

There is power in reflection. There is power in the pause. Whether you’re dealing with professional, social, or relational issues, reflection is better—100% of the time—than reacting.

Discussion Questions:

  1. If I knew my conversations with others were being videotaped and then shown to people I greatly respect, how would this change my reaction?
  2. How do we install a mental pause button this week?

LOVE IS NOT EASILY ANGERED

“…it is not easily angered…” –  1 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV).

Anger is an emotion that we are all familiar with. It is important to learn how to control this feeling, so it does not overtake our lives.

Anger can feel uncontrollable if you don’t have a grasp on it. And it is hard to have a grasp on it when it doesn’t seem like it’s your fault. You have been lied to, betrayed, and hurt, so you feel you have every right to be angry. You can find yourself with two voices arguing in your head: One trying to convince you were justified in feeling angry while the other is trying to persuade you that mercy was the right choice. The loudest voice is often the angry voice.

Anger is frequently addressed in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 29:22 says, “An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.” Or Proverbs 16:32, which says, “Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.” Proverbs 22:24-25 says, “Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.” Or again, Proverbs 29:11 “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.” In every area of life, including managing your most powerful emotions, God tells you to be quick to listen to Him, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

In chapter 20 of Numbers, Moses is attempting to lead the people of Israel through a desert, there is little to no water to drink and the people and the animals are all very thirsty. Moses goes to God and asks for help and God responds with a specific set of instructions with a limited number of steps: Take your rod; get your brother Aaron; gather the people before the rock, speak to the rock, give everyone a drink. But Moses lost his temper and struck the rock twice even though God had told him to simply speak to the rock.

That act of anger cost Moses dearly. Numbers 20:12 says, “But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!” When you know the story behind all of that it’s pretty hard to blame Moses for getting angry. The Israelites were chronic complainers. Nothing could please them. Miracle after miracle was not enough.

We all get angry. It’s unavoidable. There’s really no way to not get angry. Anger doesn’t want you to pause, it demands a reaction. It wants you to throw caution to the wind; say what you want to say and do what you feel like doing. The key is to deal with your anger…appropriately. When you detect anger in yourself, slow down, step back, zip up your lips, and take control of your mind. Then turn your disappointments, offenses, frustrations, and hurts and the anger they cause over to God. Determine that you will do whatever is necessary to make sure that anger doesn’t control you. “Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper – it only leads to harm.” (Psalm 37:8)

Discussion Question:

  1. How do you deal with anger? What is the typical outcome of your anger?
  2. Proverbs 14:29 says: “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” What does that verse mean to you?

WHAT AREA OF YOUR LIFE DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE MOST?

 “Nothing paralyzes our lives like the attitude that things can never change. We need to remind ourselves that God can change things. Outlook determines the outcome. If we see only the problems, we will be defeated; but if we see the possibilities in the problems, we can have victory.” – Warren Wiersbe, former pastor of the Moody Church in Chicago.

“What do I need to change” is one of the more common questions when people think through the challenges and responsibilities of being more Christlike. It can be perplexing: what is God’s purpose for me? Granted that I have been converted, granted that I have been saved and received new life in Jesus Christ, so what comes next?

In most cases what comes next is change. Most of us when we think of change, we tend to think of practical things: spend more time with my spouse, or be more consistent in going to church, our have quiet time with the Lord every morning. Then there the less practical changes such as loving and forgiving others, be a role model, or increase your knowledge of Scripture. But the most important component of the change process is God himself. God changes us. God is always part of the change process if sustaining change is going to happen because He is the one steady and consistent change agent;

It is very common to hear Christians say God has changed their lives or that God is their motivation for doing things differently. What they’re really saying is that God’s love makes them want to be better people. He was willing to sacrifice His son in order to make a way for us to have a relationship with Him.

This type of sacrificial love is life-changing. Not only is God’s love inspirational but God’s love is powerful. He can and does use His power to transform people. If you want to change your life, having a relationship with God can give you the courage and power to change in ways you never thought possible.

God is changing lives and moving in incredible ways all across the globe. Here is one: “I’ve had many ups and downs in my faith. I turned my back on God too many times to count, but God has been there to pick me up and brush me off. God came to my aid last time so strongly that I could no longer deny His presence in my life. I no longer deny that God has a great plan for me. I no longer hate people who have hurt me. I can change for the better.”

The power to change takes place in the context of this loving and secure relationship with God. Whether you experience transition under your feet, in your heart, or both, the Lord is using it for you, not against you. He is bringing you to a new place for the purpose of blessing you. We can trust change is not a life hindrance, but a life occurrence acting as a stepping-stone toward God’s best for us.

Discussion Questions

  1. Is it possible to embrace change? How?
  2. How can we see God in the changes in our lives?

THE EMOTIONS OF GOD

“He was despised and rejected— a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care. Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins!” – Isaiah 53:3-4.

For some of us, emotions can feel like an overwhelming part of our lives, always loud and difficult to ignore. Others are neutral emotionally and others are in the middle.  What about Jesus, though? The Lord Jesus Christ, though sinless, undoubtedly had emotions. He is called “a man of sorrows, and acquainted with deepest grief.” (Isaiah 53:3)  He experienced the same emotions that you and I experience. He can empathize with whatever situation we are struggling with in life because He was tempted in all ways as we are, yet He never sinned: “This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. (Hebrews 4:15). The Lord is not some abstract entity, but a Savior with whom we relate when no one else seems to understand us.

We must look to Jesus to show us the way to be strong people who are compassionately tender at appropriate times. Jesus experienced a wide range of emotions himself. He openly wept (see John 11:35); He felt deep compassion for people (see Mark 3:5); and He even displayed righteous anger (Matthew 21:12-13). Jesus experiences and expresses deep and vivid emotions about many things in life in perfect love. What can we learn about our Savior’s emotions that will also encourage us in our own faith?

One emotion Jesus demonstrated was showing compassion for those who were in need. He had compassion on those who were hungry, who had followed Him for three days with nothing to eat. Matthew 15:32 says, “Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion on the crowd because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat. And I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way.” Every time Jesus was moved with compassion, He was moved into action to help. This compassion was triggered by His love for every soul (John. 3:16) As the great high priest, He has compassion on you: ”And he is able to deal gently with ignorant and wayward people because he himself is subject to the same weaknesses.”(Hebrews 5:2).

He also had empathy for the pain of others. Jesus also experienced joy. The reason He was able to faithfully endure the cross was His concentration on the joy that was set before Him: “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne” (Hebrew 12:2). He knew that through His death billions of souls would be saved.

Emotions are real. The truth is that God created us with emotions. He wants us to experience joy. And, because we live in a sinful and fallen world, we will also experience sadness and grief. But the good news is His Word says He will turn our mourning into dancing (Psalm 30:11).

Discussion Questions:

  1. What can we learn from Jesus’ emotions in the Bible?
  2. How does that information change how you deal with your emotions÷

THE QUEST FOR POWER

“Many Christians estimate difficulty in the light of their own resources, and thus they attempt very little and they always fail. All giants have been weak men who did great things for God because they reckoned on His power and presence to be with them.” – Hudson Taylor.

Power.

Do you have it? Do you want it? What are you willing to do to get it? Power can be dangerous. History has shown that those who love power and seek after it can do tremendous harm in the world. Power and its pursuit have corrupted many leaders in all spheres of life. But there is power and then there is the power of God to do anything in this world and beyond.

Jesus came into this world, and He could have quickly taken over. After all, who would stop Him? But instead, He chose the posture and status of a servant, submitting to the suffering of persecution and death on the cross so that people could have a relationship with God. Rather than courting rulers and powerbrokers, Jesus sought out people who were poor, disadvantaged, outcasts, and otherwise forgotten. Through His life, death, and resurrection, Jesus Christ modeled for us the loving posture of humility and service that true power displays.

In Ephesians 1:19-21 Paul prays that we might “ understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come.”

Experiencing the power of God the Holy Spirit is not an exceptional, rare, or sporadic phenomenon. This is no ordinary power; this is God’s power. This power is without limit. It never falls short of accomplishing what God has designed for it. And if that were not enough, this immeasurably great power lives inside the believer’s soul.

God intended it to be the routine, ordinary, daily reality in the life of every believer, regardless of their education, social standing, financial status, or role in the church. This power isn’t merely available to you this week or next year. The believer should live in it and draw from it every moment of every day.

Discussion Questions:

  1. How do you tap into the power of God? How does the power of God show up in our daily lives?

HOW DO I DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE?

“If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being..”  – Alexander Solzhenitsyn.

Everyone probably knows someone that brings joy when they walk into the room and yet we all probably know someone that causes joy when they walk out of the room. No one enjoys dealing with difficult or toxic people. Just because we don’t like it does not change our Christian responsibility to still deal with them with compassion and grace.

It is very easy to become frustrated and irritated by toxic people. The things they say often hurt. Their actions can take the joy right out of your day. You can easily fixate on how they treat you and fail to see why they treat you the way they do. We need to follow Jesus’s instructions on checking our own hearts, but we also need to look for practical ways to deal with the toxic people in our lives.

But what did Jesus do? Jesus came to this earth with a purpose, to redeem a sinfully lost world. Jesus looked at people, not as personal irritants, but as sheep without a shepherd. He looked at them and loved them. As Christians, we should look at people the same way, including the ones that add some toxicity to our lives. After all, Jesus came to save difficult people as well.

Jesus told us that we are to go to the difficult person and confront him or her in private. Before you confront, think through what you intend to say.  Remember, you want to solve a problem, not escalate it. “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.” (Matthew 18:15).  Your attitude can defuse the potentially explosive issue.

If the confrontation doesn’t eliminate your problem, you then have to ask yourself how important winning this battle is to you.  Don’t let your emotions and hostilities back up.  Let them go.  In short, forgive the difficult person and ask God to use you to be a catalyst for change in the life of that person.

Someone once wrote to the USDA and complained that he could not find a spray that would effectively kill the dandelions in his yard.  He explained that he had sprayed them, dug them, and tried everything he had heard of and still had them.  The USDA agent replied, “Dear sir, if you have tried everything you have heard about to remove them and still have them, you had better learn to love them.”

That’s true not only of dandelions but of difficult people as well.

Discussion Questions:

  1. What should my attitude be when dealing with a difficult person? Think about a time that you had to deal with a difficult person. How did you respond? 
  2. Did you feel your response to the situation was biblical? What if anything, would you do differently?