A Relationship Game Plan

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.“ – Proverbs 16:9

It is usually when we are 20-something that we make some critical decisions and as a result do most of our planning. We decide where to college or if college is not for us, where do we go next as a career. In college we have to pick a major. And then whether we attend college or not, we choose who we will be in a relationship with both short and long-term.

We want the relationship to go somewhere. We want to learn and grow with someone who also wants to learn and grow. If a relationship is to grow in the right direction, we need a purpose and a plan. If you have a plan, then you can be proactive together as a couple. If you don’t have a plan, then you will be reactive and not progress. Or so we think. There are times in every person’s life where we plan and plan, and expend a whole lot of energy, thought and planning into big life events such as dating and marriage. And as we imagine and focus on a fairy tale ending, we don’t consider if that is what God intended for us or if we are following the plan He set for us.

God knows each and every one of our hearts better than anyone else ever will. He carefully created each one of us. So even if we carefully planned very detail of every relationship, our life will never be as fulfilled as giving our plans all up to God. But how scary is that? Letting go of everything that you have dreamed and worked for or letting go of a relationship you know that God did not intend for you to be in, or entering one you have concerns about. Giving everything up to God and losing control can be scary, but as Christians, how can we be following God without following His plan for us?

It is all about trusting God. If God showed you a spreadsheet with a step by step overview of the plans He has planned for each of us, we would be blown away. All the things that you accomplish, the relationships that change your life completely would make perfect sense. You would throw away your plans and goals and immediately endorse and follow God’s plan. But that is not faith. 

Faith is about believing in God even when you cannot see how all the dots connect or how all the i’s are dotted and the t’s are crossed. Faith is seeing past your circumstances, good or bad. Faith is believing that every obstacle in your life molds us into the person that God meant for us to be. God’s plans for our future are far greater than any of our fears.

There is nothing wrong with planning, as long as we remember the most important thing is to pray to Jesus to guide you. 

Discussion Questions:

1. Why do we make plans? So we can know what is going to happen; so we can be prepared; so life will be easier?
2. How do you feel when everything goes as planned? Satisfied; in control; like I accomplished something good?
3. How do you feel when things don’t go as planned? Frustrated; totally helpless; it doesn’t bother me too much?
4. What role does God have in your plans? How can we know what God’s plan for our relationships are?